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#IPVFemicide
She Was the Light: Brittany Hibdon’s Story and the Hidden Risk of Femicide
Brittany Hibdon was not a woman you’d expect to see in a domestic violence statistic.
She was radiant—an ambitious, self-made success in the male-dominated automotive industry. A community leader, keynote speaker, and devoted mother, Brittany was the kind of woman who made things happen. She equipped others—especially women—with courage, resources, and tools for safety, including pepper sprays and stun guns. She was a woman who stood tall, in heels, so she could meet men eye to eye.
But even women like Brittany—especially women like Brittany—are not immune to the insidious reach of emotional abuse. And when the warning signs are dismissed, manipulated, or even reinforced by those entrusted with mental health care, the consequences can be devastating.
Gaslighting Doesn’t Always Leave a Bruise
What Brittany endured in her marriage wasn’t what society often pictures when it hears the term “abuse.” There were no police reports. No restraining orders. But there were signs.
Her husband struggled with depression, jealousy, and deep insecurity. Friends recall Brittany describing how he resented her light, her success, her spark. He didn’t celebrate her—it seemed he wanted to contain her.
Over time, emotional control replaced affection. Instead of support, there was guilt. Instead of equality, there was tension and unpredictability. Brittany began to walk on eggshells—an experience many survivors of emotional abuse describe as more exhausting than any physical blow.
When Brittany turned to therapy for support, she entered what should have been a safe space. But instead of finding clarity or empowerment, she was pulled deeper into a toxic dynamic—enabled, in part, by the very professionals meant to help her.
A Dangerous Therapy Room: When Counselors Fail Survivors
Brittany and her husband entered counseling at Nysa Therapy in Chico, California—he under the care of Dr. Stephen Diggs, she with Suzanne Papini.
What unfolded, according to multiple accounts, was a disturbing pattern of ethical failure and psychological harm.
In joint sessions led by Diggs and Papini, Brittany reported feeling cornered and unsupported. Friends recall her sharing that she was miserable in therapy. She described group sessions where blame was diverted from the perpetrator, where taking personal responsibility was not encouraged—but redirected outward. Even her husband’s threats of self-harm were minimized.
Brittany, on the other hand, was growing. She wanted better—not just for herself, but for her children. She had begun the difficult emotional and logistical work of preparing to leave her marriage. But she was doing so in an environment where both her abuser and her therapists appeared threatened by her independence.
These were not neutral therapeutic environments. These were power-laden, emotionally coercive spaces where Brittany’s self-trust was undermined and her voice diminished.
According to the account she gave friends, even when she made the clear decision to leave her marriage, she was pressured to delay, to soften, to give her husband “more time.” That request would cost her everything.
Femicide: The Risk Spikes When She Decides to Leave
Statistically, Brittany’s final decision to leave was the most dangerous moment of her life.
According to national data:
- Nearly 80% of domestic violence-related homicides occur after a woman decides to leave.
- More than half of all female homicide victims are killed by a current or former intimate partner.
- Threats of suicide, often used as emotional manipulation, are a red flag for lethal risk.
The day after telling her husband she was filing for divorce, Brittany told close friends that he threatened to harm himself if she told her parents. In a gesture of empathy—and, perhaps, of survival—she agreed to give him more time. That weekend, she began feeling ill. By Monday, she was severely sick, and he chose to stay silent while their children called him from her bedside in a panic.
He returned home, but did not call for help until after Brittany stopped breathing.
Control is Not Love: Understanding Non-Physical Abuse
What Brittany experienced is what advocates call coercive control—a form of emotional and psychological abuse where the perpetrator manipulates, isolates, and wears down their partner until escape feels nearly impossible. It includes:
- Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt her memory, perception, and sanity.
- Crazymaking: Twisting words and reality to destabilize the victim.
- Suicidal threats: Used to trap the victim emotionally.
- Jealousy that wasn’t about love—it was about resentment.
He didn’t want her time or affection; he wanted the admiration she received. It wasn’t closeness he craved—it was control over the light that made her shine.
Despite the lack of visible bruises, these behaviors are not “less serious.” In fact, they are often the precursors to femicide.
When Therapy Becomes a Weapon
In Brittany’s case, therapy was not a sanctuary. It became part of the abuse.
The Nysa Therapy team—especially Dr. Diggs and Suzanne Papini—failed her in three critical ways:
- They tolerated and even enabled coercive control.
- They invalidated Brittany’s emotional truth.
- They missed, ignored, or dismissed the very warning signs of a potentially lethal situation.
According to domestic violence experts, couples counseling is rarely appropriate in abusive relationships, especially when one partner is manipulative or dangerous. Yet Brittany was put into shared sessions where her safety was compromised and her voice was minimized.
A Call for Accountability, Awareness, and Justice
Brittany Hibdon’s death must not be softened or erased with vague language. She didn’t just “pass away.” Her life ended following a clear and traceable pattern of emotional abuse, manipulation, unethical counseling, and the known femicide risk that occurs when a woman dares to reclaim her freedom.
She deserved better—from her spouse, from her therapists, from the systems that failed to see the danger she was in, and from the law enforcement officers who turned away—accepting a Covid explanation without a full autopsy, failing to investigate her suspicious death with the diligence, care, and hard questions it demanded.
We must learn from her story. We must speak truthfully about how femicide often hides in plain sight, dressed as love, concern, or therapy. And we must hold accountable the institutions and individuals who contribute—through action or negligence—to the erosion of a woman’s safety and agency.
Justice for Brittany is justice for all women who are told to wait, to soften, to forgive instead of to leave and live.
Let Brittany’s voice rise again through ours.
